I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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