in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
where are you?
Hypothermia
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize