we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize