i just wanna soil my oats bro
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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