he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
