i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
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