I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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