i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize