Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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