at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
it was like eating out sand paper
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
