is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
