Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
