I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
