You work out of a Hotel?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just gargled with NyQuil
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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