i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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