he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
