I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
