i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
