I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
