my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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