what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize