So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Randomize
