I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
pray to the hookup gods
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
