We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
