I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
