I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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