Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Someone shit on the floor
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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