You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
