Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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