Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
