So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
