I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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