PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm at about main and main street
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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