Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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