Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize