reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
