He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize