so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
