i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just threw up on my dentist
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
