I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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