called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
