So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
