So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
