Your tits are I can't wait for
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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