you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
