i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
