Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
