Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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