First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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