You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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