Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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