Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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