i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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