I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
