alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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