Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
