I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize