Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
