you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
