just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
