i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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