Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
